Journaling

In my last blog I quoted the second to last Batman movie. Today, just to show myself that I do have an intellectual side, I will quote Madeleine L’Engle.

She once said “it is alright to wallow in one’s journal; it is a way of getting rid of self-pity and self-indulgence and self-centeredness. What we work out in our journals we don’t take out on our family and friends.”

I have actually blown up balloons for my own self-pity parties. I am good at it. And self-indulgence? Have you SEEN me eat? Don’t even get me started on self-centeredness. This blog is not the time or place.

But my journals, whether they are actually written down or talked out loud during a long run, contain TONS of complaining and self-pity. It’s confession really.  I release those hardened, sticky, cumbersome feelings of “why me?” and “I will never have an easy life?” to the atmosphere of the blue sky and then look up and see the sun, shining. For a moment peace overwhelms me. I will take that moment and cherish it. Because the next day I will probably do the complaining part all over again.

But maybe someday, if I practice this long enough, my complaining will be less and my peace will be more. Maybe I will realize how yucky the complaining feels and how splendid the sun feels. Maybe.

Before my piano lessons come, I gotta get a quick run/complain in. I wouldn’t want to miss the chance for a self-pity party-turned rainbow sighting to pass me by.